I am constantly asked, "How is Ashlynn?" It is honestly hard to answer this. Ashlynn...is Ashlynn and that is who she will always be. She wakes up each morning singing, dancing, telling stories, and being as wild and crazy as can be. She is beautiful in every way you can describe a beautiful two year old. I wish there were words out there to describe her spirit. It is inspiring..Ashlynn is inspiring. Neurofibromatosis will never get Ashlynn down, and I realize this more and more every day.
Ashlynn struggles only with two things during her whole chemo treatment. She struggles with the pain. Because, yes there is pain unfortunately. The port access is never easy or pain free. She is well known for pulling her port out once it is placed. I can think of atleast 3 visits where we have had to re-poke Ashlynn more than two times. But, Ashlynn is a fighter..she does the only thing she knows how to do. SHE FIGHTS. Ashlynn also has problems with her nerves, this happens primarily at night. She will wake up sore and whiny, crying in her sleep. Usually a hug and a kiss, a few children's pain killers and sometimes a bath will fix this. The doctors believe it is from the chemo, granted NF is known to cause this as well. The doctors describe it as a tingly feeling she gets. An adult can feel this as well if they allow their feet to fall asleep for a long period of time and then go back into movement.
Ashlynn's other struggle is one of the most heart breaking kind. Ashlynn has had a few very key players in her life leave since she has started chemotherapy. I'm not really going to go into this conversation as those people did what they felt they had to do. I have my own opinions as well as how everyone else tells me how I should feel and react to this. My only thought on this is, FORGIVENESS. I would like to take a few seconds and sentences to tell those people. I forgive you for doing this, I will teach Ashlynn to forgive you as well. Maybe your just not strong enough to be in her life thru all of this. Maybe I have made you mad and you have moved on. This is me saying...I'm sorry and I forgive you for all that you have done. I'd like you to come back, not for me...it has never been for me. But, for her...she deserves better than this.
ANYWAYS...that was my little spiel that will never be heard. We are taking a two week breather before we start Ashlynn's second round of chemo. We only have about 12 more months of treatments if all goes well. Her MRI came back stable and the tumors are not growing. She also does not have any other tumors than the ones she already had in her first MRI. 

"If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive." -Mother Theresa
"Courage doesn't always ROAR, sometimes courage is the tiny voice at the end of the day that says "I will try again tomorrow."- Mary Ann Radmacher